Question Three: Will it Build Goodwill and Better Friendships?
A thoughtful comment can stay with someone for years. So can a careless one.
Every conversation and every email gives us a choice: are we building a bridge or putting up a barrier?
Most of the time we don’t frame it that way. We’re busy, we’re distracted, we fire off a reply and move on. Which is exactly why the third question of the Four-Way Test is worth asking: Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
Goodwill doesn’t happen by accident. It accumulates through patience, respect, and a willingness to understand the other person…one interaction at a time. And it’s easy for it to drain away far faster than it builds.
In a club like ours, with different cultures, languages, and time zones, this question is important. And building goodwill doesn’t mean we always agree. Some of the best friendships in Rotary have survived plenty of disagreement. It means we treat one another with dignity even when our backgrounds and opinions differ.
Especially if we want to keep members engaged, people stay where they feel valued and heard.
Your challenge for the next two weeks
Before you speak, write, or respond, pause and ask:
- Will this encourage or discourage?
- Am I listening to understand, or just waiting for my turn to speak?
- Could I choose kinder or more respectful language?
- Will this strengthen the relationship or weaken it?
- What small act of kindness could I offer today?
Often the answer points to something small. A sincere thank you. Checking in on a friend you haven’t heard from. Offering help before it’s asked for.
So, for the next two weeks, find one moment each day to deliberately strengthen a relationship. And before you act, ask yourself: Will this build goodwill and better friendships?
Every friendship starts with a single positive interaction. That’s how every one of your friendships actually began. Goodwill, built one exchange at a time, is what Rotary runs on.